Thursday, February 10, 2011

I'm Just Joking Around...

I'm not a big fan of perpetuating jokes via the email. I'll get them on occasion, but they will go no farther. I received a joke sheet from a former co-worker back at corporate HQ that displayed a lot of merit. There was a nice mix poking fun at 'maleness', sex, death and just a touch of political incorrectness.

I've edited out half the jokes so only the ones that really appealed to me appear below. Now that's a scary peek into my psyche. If you've read them before...apologies and quickly move on to the next blog in your surfing. For those interested, I've included a video at the bottom pertinent to #12...


1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


2. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

3. Was learning cursive really necessary?

4. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

5. Bad decisions make good stories.

6. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

7. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

8. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

9. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

10. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

11. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

12. An athletic ‘cup’, or testicular guard, was used in Hockey in 1874. The first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

12 comments:

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

Those are great, Alan! I especially laughed at the cup video... poor kid.

Kara McElhinny said...

HA! That video was great!! I chuckled at every single one of these Alan, dig them muchly!!

Thanks for the smiles!

Happy writing!
kara

Danielle Ferries said...

Number 4 has given me an idea.

Natalie L. Sin said...

His sister is laughing now, but wait until it's time to get her first training bra.

Harry said...

Pretty funny. Definitely agree with #2 & #5 and the video was excellent!

John Wiswell said...

A sarcasm font would be handy. The winky face emoticon has honest grammatical use. Worries me that we'd need faces for special punctuation.

K.C. Shaw said...

Ha! I'd watch the video, but I'm at work and can't. I am living #6. :)

Akasha Savage. said...

They all got me chuckling, especially the best friend geting rid of internet history one! :D

Alan W. Davidson said...

Cathy- Yeah, the video was pretty funny.

Kara- You are most welcome.

Danielle- I was hoping that someone would get a story idea from those jokes. Hmmm...number 4-I'd say there was a horror story in the works.

Nat- You're right. I can imagine the payback (I had 3 little sisters).

Harry- There's nothing worse than an embarrasing price check.

John- I think the smiley and winky faces are used far too often. ;)

KC- It's just as well. It was probably something naughty that work would give you in trouble for...

Akasha- Good friends, indeed.

Katey said...

Oh god, that video was just cruel. I laughed way too hard.

5. Bad decisions make good stories.
So, so true. Man, I think any halfway decent stories I have ended up with me face down in the ground somewhere... Occasionally uncertain where, even...

Jarmara Falconer said...

I loved no: 12 and the video ;-)

Jarmara Falconer said...

Oh I mean to say your new header picture is wonderful. Is it where you live? It's beautiful.