Name That Tune

I wasn't a singer as a kid. I sucked at it. Dogs would run away when I sang. That's why I took up the violin in the 5th grade. The dogs would stay around but they howled pitifully. I'm still not sure if they were singing along or if they were in agony. I think humming is a safer musical pursuit. I'm not very good at that either, but at least the ears of those around me don't bleed. Much.

A BBC story on the Internet caught my eye this morning. Residents in Woodland, a village in county Durham, England, have been experiencing a constant buzzing noise that some attribute to abandoned mine shafts in the area. Sounds like something out of the X-Files (apparently this was the subject of an episode of the popular show, but I don't remember it). The phenomenon has actually been documented in other parts of the world for 40 years. There have been similar incidents in Bristol, England in Bondi, NSW, Australia and in Taos, New Mexico. Hey...isn't that near Roswell? I know, it would be easy to play the UFO card at this point as the experts still haven't come up with an explanation. Some believe that it's a form of tinnitus while others think that it's related to machinery or equipment operating in nearby factories. Link to the Wikipedia page here. I'm thinking that it's those 7 bearded, little men swinging their pick axes in the shafts below ground. Or UFO's...

Have you ever heard strange noises? (And I'm not talking about the couple in the next apartment)

We could have a St. John's Hum but I probably wouldn't hear it anyways because it would be drowned out by those voices I hear in my head.

Odd Deaths as a Stall Tactic

As many of you are aware I am prone to referring to weird stories that I have stumbled upon in the news. This is mainly because I have nothing to post about. However, I think I have found a strange story that may be considered both educational and funny (in a macabre way). The full story was an article called Stupid Ways to Die by Alan Parker (yes, the same guy who did last weeks' story about the last public execution in Canada). It appeared in the Toronto Sun last year and you can link to the full story here. For those of you who don't wish to peruse the full list, I will give you the highlights below...

1751- Prince Frederick, eldest son of Britain's George II and heir to the throne, was killed when hit in the chest by a cricket ball and died of a lung abscess. As a result Frederick's son became George III (the guy who lost half of North America in the Revolutionary War).

1760- Nine years after his son suffered death by cricket ball, George II died of injuries sustained when he fell off the toilet.

1814- Nine people died in the Great London Beer Flood when 1.5 million litres of beer burst out of a Merx & Company Brewery storage facility (I fully believe that the Canadians reading this are nodding their heads sagely muttering, "but what a way to go, dude.")

1912- Paris tailor Franz Reichelt wanted to test his "coat parachute" from the top of the Eiffel Tower (I think you see where this is going...). Authorities approved his test--with a dummy--but once at the top Reichelt impulsively decided to test his invention himself. It didn't work.

1926- Englishman Bobby Leach, who was the second person to survive going over Niagara Falls in 1911, died when he slipped on an orange peel. Gangrene set in after Leach broke his leg and the limb was amputated--but he died anyway.

1983- Playwright Tennessee Williams choked to death when he swallowed the cap to an eye drop bottle.

1993- Toronto lawyer Garry Hoy was demonstrating at a party how strong the windows on the TD Centre were. He ran at the window once...and then again, at which point the window gave away and Hoy fell 24 floors to his death (pity he wasn't wearing a Reichelt coat parachute).

There were a couple of deaths that involved horses and sex...one in particular involved a "Mr. Hands". You'll have to link to the article for the gory details as I'm trying to keep this a PG rating.

Oddness in the News

Breaking from my work once in a while (only during the appointed times, of course) I will navigate to the news headlines to see what disaster has fallen upon civilization. My brain is still somewhat in holiday mode and I was distracted by a couple of stories that caught my eye...

• Airline considers fee for lavatory use...Yep, sort of speaks for itself but click on the link for the CNN story. Maybe it's just my but does it seem that budget airlines are taking the 'cost saving cuts' a bit too far. We've got the paying for check-in luggage (we were charged $60 US for our three bags to go from here to Newark. Each way.) The removing of a meal and entertainment on shorter flights (ours was a three hour flight with only one flight attendant, no movie and only a cold snack). Now the possibility looms of charging for carry-on and the use of the toilets. Sounds like a sh***y situation to me.

• Women try to smuggle dead man on plane...Do read the link carefully. It wasn't Liverpool women who tried to do this, it only occurred there. The first thought that popped into my head was "Weekend at Bernie's". One would think that passing off the dead as living a bit rare, but apparently not as much as you would think...check out this story about a couple of 'characters' trying to pass off their dead friend as living in order to cash his social security cheque. Ha! Who needs fiction when we've got real life to keep us amused.

A quick shout out to Cathy Olliffe at Life on the Muskoka River who, a few days ago, bestowed upon me the Happy 101 award. As bizarre is it sounds, I'll give this one a bit of thought before posting as it doesn't pop into my head right off what makes me happy.

I know, it's a lot of links and video to take in at one time. Take you time. You've got all day.

Bye for now,

Hugs a Kisses,

Mr. Grumpy Pants.

Odd Stories and the Flash Delay

Just a follow up to yesterday's post where I noted that I might possibly present my flash fiction piece...well, I was up before 6am this morning and edited the thing. I'm not happy, though, that the 700 word story has three characters, yet no dialogue is spoken. I decided to delay posting the story until next week, when I will have had a chance to insert a bit of dialogue.

As a consolation prize, I present you a couple of links to weird stories that I read about today. Perhaps you did as well?

The first is about a newlywed couple in England. She has discovered that he talks in his sleep. He talks a lot, and about a lot of strange stuff. She has decided to record his nightly ramblings and post them to a blog called Sleep Talkin' Man. I saw the story on ABC news and the couple have spun this into something of a marketing frenzy with T-shirts available to purchase at the site. I envy their popularity as it now has over 5800 followers (what writer wouldn't want that sort of fan base). This may be of interest because if you read over some of the things the husband says, you may get some bizarre (surrealistic?) ideas for a story.

The second story, also out of Britain I may add, falls into that category of weird and at the same time creepy. I provide you with a link here to the Reuters story about the Holiday Inn chain beginning to use human "bed warmers" to pre-warm the beds of patrons in three locations in the UK. Now, before you let your minds go wild...the people will be in full-body, fleece jump suits and will be out of the bed before the patron gets into it. Call me old fashioned, but I still prefer a hot water bottle or an electric blanket.

My British 'sources' have provided me with photos of the three characters hired on to perform the bed warming task (above and to the right). Look at the bright side...you get a warm bed and it keeps them off the dole. Perhaps I should hire out the boy as a warmer at local hotels to offset some of the costs of our upcomming holidays in March?