[read between THESE lines]

Wow, that was a week that I'll never get back. It all seems a blur now. Three days this week we had significant snow fall that required shovelling (mostly using the snow blower, of course). But I did have my junior Sherpa on hand to hide in the warm car  fart around  do most of the manual labour. I must be having sympathy pains (like when 'V' was pregnant) because my back is still paining me. I had to make up the lost office time by working after hours. And my overlords are now cracking the 'overtime whip' in an effort to get more steel out the doors. I used to like overtime when I was younger (one year I had nearly 500 hours of overtime) but I prefer to avoid it now.

Friday's snow storm played havoc on the boy's schedule too. He is a member of the robotics club at school, and they were to compete against other Jr. High schools from the eastern part of the province at a certain unnamed 'institute of higher learning' here in St. John's. However, the event was cancelled due to the snow and high winds preventing travel of the out-of-town teams. We did fill out the permission form and submit it to the school a few days ago. You all have no doubt seen these forms before. Essentially written in legalese, signing away one's rights to sue the 'institute of higher learning' until well into the next century.

Let me relate to you some of the facts of the two page document [and a few of my thoughts in passing.]

• Although it is understood that 'the institute of higher learning', in general, endeavours to provide a safe environment for students, I am familiar with and accept that there is a risk of injury, possibly of a serious nature in participation in the Event;  [injury? what kind of injury? The kids'll be operating small, robotic subs in a shallow tank of water for frigs sake!]
• Injuries may include, but are not limited to, bruises, abrasions, strains, muscular injuries, fractures, back injuries, joint injuries, concussions, drowning, paralysis and death;  [OK, sounds to me like this 'Event' is actually going to be Acapulco cliff diving or duelling with light sabres or frigging ice hockey!]
• Injuries may result from, without limitation, equipment malfunction, slipping, tripping or falling, hazards inherent to the environment of the Event;  [so you're REALLY saying we should encase the little darlings in bubble wrap before sending them off to 'the orifice  edifice of unparalleled danger'...]
• I knowingly and freely assume all such risks, both known and unknown, even if arising from the negligence of those persons released from liability below, and assume full responsibility for my Child's participation;  [...and we should also have Father Ted bless them and sprinkle a wee bit of holy water on them for good measure...]
• My Child will immediately notify the nearest official of 'the institute of higher learning', if at any time he/she senses or observes any unusual condition or feels that he/she has experienced any deterioration in his/her physical, emotional or mental fitness, for continued safe participation in the Event;  [Do I understand Clause #691 correctly?...if the young'uns Spidey senses get tingling, or if they feel a crying jag coming on, they should tell the Commandant right away?]
• I understand that the 'institute of higher learning' assumes no responsibility for personal injury or loss of or damage to my Child's personal property;  [Yeah. Right. Kinda seen that one coming]
• I hearby consent to the use without compensation, of my Child's name and/or likeness, images and/or voice in publicity and advertising concerning the Event in any media and/or promotion throughout the world;  [so if you produce a video, and it makes its way to YouTube and goes all 'Justin Beiber' and it makes a crap-load of money for an as-of-yet 'UNKNOWN PRODUCT' we won't see a penny of that?]
• I declare that I have read, understood and agree to the contents of the WAIVER FORM in its entirety and I sign it freely and voluntarily without any inducement.  [ya know, just because you can't SEE the friggin' gun pointed at your head doesn't mean that it's not there.]

Anyway, I signed and dated said form. So did the boy. So did the obligatory witnesses and the Holy Father himself. After I had my team of lawyers look over the document, Sean returned it to school. Then the Event got cancelled. Maybe he can risk life and limb NEXT week end.



Photo Credit: Safe Home Products