Thursday, September 9, 2010

Spiders Creep Me Out

Karen Schindler at Miscellaneous Yammering had a cute post yesterday about removing insects from one's home without harm to the wee beasties. The 'without harm' is important if one is attempting to adhere to one's Buddhist principles.

The wolf spider and the ant...you'll have to link to her post here to find out which was released safely into the wilds and which encountered the business end of a vacuum cleaner.

I'm reminded of an incident as a teenager. I woke up in bed one night and felt a tickling on the hairs of my right leg (get your minds out of the gutter). I flung the sheets aside and shrieked like a little girl leaped from the bed, flinging on the light. On the sheet was an enormous wolf spider. I got a slipper and tried to smack it but missed and it flew through the air and fell behind the bed which was fitted into an alcove in the wall and could not be removed. It was a bit unnerving going back to bed after that.

I try to safely remove wildlife from the house and share a few of those Buddhist principles but had I caught the beastie, he would have met a punishment similar to that which Garfield metes out below. I hope that it's readable; I had to dig it out from the Davidson comic archives. I didn't use this one in June's post that tried to explain me through comics strips I had collected from newspapers over the years.

I'm kinda feeling itchy all of a sudden. Spider Karma.

26 comments:

Aaron Polson said...

I woke once with a big, hairy spider next to me on the pillow. Yes, I ran down the hallway, arms flailing like a lunatic.

K.Hinny said...

It's kind of like that children rhyme "Cris-Cross, Apple sauce. Spider crawling up your back..."

*scratches arm vigorously* :D

Laurita said...

I'm sorry Alan, I really am, but the image of you screaming like a girl and flinging that spider had me in stitches.

Karen from Mentor said...

I'm with Laurita....I'm giggling at you squealing like a little girl.

I'll tell you two spider horror stories-- the first is creepy, the second...is rather horrific [fair warning]

In my twenties I had a teeny house that was overhung by a huge tree. I always slept with the windows open. One morning I awoke to THOUSANDS of tiny green spiders hanging inches from me on the ceiling and crawling all over my blankets.

When I was nine I opened a window for the first time in the spring dislodging a nest of zebra spiders. They swarmed me. Before a grown up got me in the shower they were in my ears, up my nose and down my throat....

There. Feeling pretty itchy now aren't you bucko?

Thanks for the linkage.
oh and bwahahahaha
:0)

Marisa Birns said...

Alan, you mean you went to sleep even with that wolf spider hiding behind your bed waiting for you to fall asleep before it took your slipper to SMACK YOU!

That was very brave. Especially after shrieking like a little girl. But you were a boy. So you shrieked like a little boy!

And I did not realize that this was a writing competition. Karen's comment wins the prize for horror.

K.C. Shaw said...

I don't mind spiders (too much, anyway), but I always check my bed before I get in. I've heard too many horror stories about people who've been bitten by brown recluses when they got in bed. *shudders*

Erin Cole said...

I'll take a man with a mask holding a chainsaw over a spider in my bed any day. Really.

Tomorrow, I'll be posting a spider poem in support of Lily Childs' Feardom Spider Week, so just when your leg stops itchin, come on over:)

Natalie L. Sin said...

I like wolf spiders, but all the other ones freak me out.

Cathy Olliffe said...

Y'all make me laugh (love the Garfield cartoon!) but, Karen? That story is AWFUL!!!! Oh, I can't imagine that many spiders, and the ones in your ears..down your throat.. that is AWFUL... (but explains a lot - LOL!!!!!)
Jest kiddin, Karen, ya know that, right?

Sue H said...

I had a similar experience to Karen! As a small child I accidently (and unknowlingly!) disturbed a spider's nest. I was playing in the green house (writing back to front on the windows and running outside to see if what I'd written made sense). Busily engrossed, I felt a tickling sensation around my knees and looked down to see my clothes and every inch of bare skin covered in tiny spiders! I ran up to the house and battered on the doors - I daren't scream in case they went in my mouth! They were in my hair and my ears and I had to close my eyes because they were all over my face, too. My grandmother ran out with a bucket of water and drenched me and my mother flapped at me with a towel.

I had nightmares that night and from then on a childhood phobia of spiders. Even now, I don't like them, but I'm quite adept at containing them with a glass and getting reid of them humanely.

Ugh! Makes me shudder even to think about it all again!

Alan W. Davidson said...

Aaron- And a guy your height flailing his arms would gather a lot of attention. Lucky that the spider hadn't found his way to a facial orifice.

Kara- *shudders* Thinking of a spider crawling up my back.

Laurita- ...but spiders creep me out!

Karen- I thought the first story was horrific. The second should be put in a Hollywood horror film. Have you put this in a story yet? Ick!

Marisa- I was a teenager and really tired so I fell back to sleep (trying to ignore the phantom tickles on my leg).

I agree that nobody will beat Karen's story...

KC- Have you ever found any hiding in your bed? Are they a problem in the south?

Erin- I assume you meant masked man with chainsaw in a bad way. Perhaps he's there to protect you by chopping up the spider...and you know I'll be by to read your spider poem in support of Lily's spider week!

Nat- I wonder if Japan has spiders?

Cathy- Garfield is my kind of cat.

Sue- I'm sure that Karen is sorry for helping you relive the childhood trauma. Perhaps the pair of you can form an online support group. BTW, I think your story lies somewhere between her first and second stories for Ick-factor.

I'm thinking we need a writing competition spinning spider stories.

Karen from Mentor said...

Sorry Sue. Didn't mean to disturb you. And no Alan, haven't written either story into anything. I try not to think about it actually.

*oh look...fluffy kittens....*

Sue H said...

Yes, let's keep talking about fluffy kittens.............


....not the 's' word!

;-p

kathryn said...

Oh, I'm SO GLAD you've admitted to screaming like a little girl. If you'd said you'd grunted like Columbo, I wouldn't have believed it for a minute.

That said, I would have screamed like a banshee...and there's no freakin' way I would have slept in that bed....possibly ever.

There is nothing worse than finding a creepy, crawly thing that's so big, that the very thought of squishing it would require therapy, Xanax and a professional exterminator.

Laura Eno said...

I'm itching all over now and the comments just added to my misery! I'll go to sleep with the light on tonight...
And Karen's story is immortalized on your blog.

Jameson T. Caine said...

Years ago I awoke in the middle of the night and wondered why the ceiling looked so odd...but only from the perspective of my right eye. As I pondered this, the spider sitting over my eye decided to do a little dance and reveal himself. Self levitation and high pitched squealing ensued.

Alan W. Davidson said...

Karen- May each day of your life be filled with oodles of fluffy kittens (spider-free, of course)

Sue- I always thought you were too much of a lady to use the 'S' word.

Kathryn- Aside from the sedatives, I'm thinkin' that Taylor has been your pest removal guy.

Laura- You're right about Karen's comment. I'm thinking about putting up a comment wall of fame. Hers would be at the top of the list. Ick.

Jameson- Dude, I was just getting over that skin-crawling feeling and then you come up with that story. Your eye...surely you've put this into one of your horror stories?

Sue H said...

Alan - the 's' word had in mind was the name for arachnid.

Why, what 's' word did YOU have in mind....? ;-p

Jarmara Falconer said...

I loved it, you can share my library any day and I promise not to drop any of my books on you:-)

Cate Gardner said...

I'm with Garfield on the spider issue.

Akasha Savage. said...

I read somewhere that during our life we swallow about seven spiders that crawl into our open mouths at night. That will account for that lumpy feeling in my throat I wake up with some mornings. Eeeeh! Gross!

Claudia said...

Hi Alan,
I love Garfield! but I hate spiders right after cockroaches, yuk! My mom tells me not to kill them because they bring good luck...hmmm I doubt that. What I appreciate from them is that they eat other insects but that's all I appreciate from them. Just talking about them gives me goosebumps. On a somber note for the pesky spiders, I have two kitty cats that kill anything that moves, so problem solved! My kitties don't care about Karma ;) LOL!

Alan W. Davidson said...

Sue- I knew that you were too much of a lady to use the other 'S' word!

Jarmara- Thanks, I may take you up on that!

Cate- I'm siding with you both.

Akasha- OK, I didn't need to know that little spider story!

Clauia- Kitty cats are a good thing, especially if they hunt the spiders (who cares if they eat other insects!). Thanks for dropping by and commenting!

Bukowski's Basement said...

I had creepy cave crickets in my bottom level ... Not an Gandhi-like bone in my body.

Mari said...

Akk! Just to think of live spiders going down my throat I... uh

Sorry Alan, Karen's comment kind of overwhelmed me for a moment. *shudders* (literally)

Although I too giggled at your girlie shriek I sympathize. A few years ago me and my sister went to a national park with tropical forest. The hotel we stayed in was almost inside the jungle. One day we were preparing for breakfast (there were cabins, not rooms) and a big tarantula fell on my sister's shoulder. I couldn't speak; all I did was wave manically pointing to the spider. She got it of her without knowing what had fallen on her until I recovered my speech and was able to tell.

Not as terrifying as Karen's tale, but I was pretty scared. Did you see Jodi's spiders? Texas is terrifying in summer!

http://blahhog.blogspot.com/2010/09/one-way-to-get-shot-in-texas.html

Alan W. Davidson said...

Ant- I've never heard of crickets inside the house. Were they noisy? I totally understand why ones pacifistic tendencies would be pushed aside for a swift resolution...

Mari- If I put a spider anthology together, I shall add you to the list of others...yes, I saw Jodi's bug pictures! I hear that chihuahuas the size of small ponies cross the border and terrify the folks in her area...