Thursday, September 15, 2011

Fez in the Wind

I’m wearing my matching sou'wester hat and thong this evening to protect from the residuals of tropical storm Maria that is spiralling in our direction. Past experience has proven that the water-proof fez won’t cut it in the high winds during the storms that occasionally hit The Rock. In fact, it's been almost exactly a year since hurricane Igor dropped in for a kitchen party.

Back to the topic of headgear, I find myself wearing the fez a lot less—often going about town with no chapeau at all. In fact, I’m really quite a lightweight in the 'fezular' realm when you look at it in a global context. There are many others who don the exotic fez with far more flair than myself.

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  The always-popular Dr. Who wears the fez rakishly with a bit of hair poking out from the front in a care-free manner. The bow tie sets off the look perfectly (note to self...get a PhD in physics and look into purchasing better cravats.)

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  Todd exudes a certain unkempt charm with his slightly unshaven face and bogus porn star moustache. He delivers pizzas week nights, but on the weekends he's an exotic dancer with the stage name 'Howard Johnson'. You should see him gyrate his tassel.

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  I don't know what her name is or anything about her. However her emerald dress and platinum hair really bring out the colour of her hat. The Masons were wise to let her into the club. I'd loan her my fez any day.

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Bruno LeDrew took too many head shots in his lengthy boxing career. He wears his fez to hide his pet squirrel Bonkers. Bruno scores points with me for that cool necklace. He obviously likes it a lot. He is one step away from getting a room with his necklace. And his little friend Bonkers.

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  I've heard that Monica dresses like this when she goes to the opening night of the Harry Potter movies. Her friends are too embarrassed to tell her that the costume doesn't work. I think it works just fine. Her wrap nearly matches the hue of her eggplant fez. Very nice, indeed. But please stop staring at're making me nervous.

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I saved Mr. Cairo for last because he captures the look that I can only dream of attaining (on account of my grey hair). His fez is centered perfectly on his head and the black jacket and tie are perfect with his dark side burns and goatee. Mr. Cairo has perfectly captured that "Svengali meets Dos Equis guy" look. Well done, sir. Well done.


Gigi said...

Out of all these; I still prefer you in the's true.

Whenever I think of a fez, your name pops to mind. None of these other people (whoever they may be).

Gigi said...

Oh, and the more important comment, be safe. Those hurricanes are tricky. Especially those female ones....

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

(giggling at the fez pictures and secretly lusting after Mr. Cairo)
Batten down your hatches, Alan! Put some extra waterproofing on that thong!

Aaron Polson said...

Take care Alan. And yes, the world needs more Fez.

Alan W. Davidson said...

Gigi- Thanks! It's nice to know that I still score points in the fez. As it turns out the hurricane had little effect on us. A lot of wind but no substance.

Cathy- I will try to set you up with Mr. Cairo next time he's in the country.

Aaron- Agree. Fez is as necessary as cow bell. I made sure to put all sharp objects away during the storm.