Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I've Been Memed!

I know...I promised to post my answers to this meme on the weekend but somehow life throws curve balls at you (or perhaps sour grapes, or even Yorkshire puddings once in a while). We had a bit of a family situation come up that is now mostly resolved and we can move on. Don't worry...nobody died and I'm reasonably sure there was no blood-letting. Also, believe me when I say that no moose were harmed during the commission of this family drama...

Anyway, who's dad didn't say "When somebody hits you, hit 'em right back" at some point of time. In my case, I was memed by my good friend Katey Taylor at her blog KV Taylor--Spec Fic and Nonsense.  Umm...I guess I can't meme her back because the game doesn't work that way. I imagine that I'll have to "pay it forward" (see my victims selections later on). Check out Katey's blog...if she's not there, perhaps you can find her lurking at The Red Penny Papers (an electronic journal of sensationalist and fantastical fiction).


Are you a rutabaga?

Not exactly, but I DID once have an old girlfriend call me a cabbage. Is that close enough?

When was the last time you ate lion meat?

You know what? I've never eaten lion meat (I know, I've had a sheltered life). Does a nice goat curry work as a substitute for Simba? How about shark steak...

Upload a heartwarming picture of something that makes you smile.

Baby pics can be very heartwarming. Lord knows, I've thrown enough pics up here recently to be an authority. There are probably underlying stories going on here. A commentary on violence with today's youth? Perceptions of French-English relations in Canada? Stuff like that. Or perhaps its simply a little Habs fan giving a little Leafs fan a left cross. Or maybe its just a clever segue to the next question...

If you could go back in time and kick the crap out of someone, who would it be?

Hmmm....most of the boys (and some of the girls) in the 6th grade for starters. Perhaps I was teased mercilessly because my mother dressed me funny--it WAS the 70's after all--or maybe it was because I was just a little a**hole...luckily for those folks, I have taken a path of non-violence. As my cousin, wise sage and long-distance truck driver, used to say, "I won my last fight by 50 yards."

Name one habit that makes other people plot your demise.

I've heard that my biting my fingernails can be quite annoying. It's a habit that I picked up from my father in my childhood (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it). My God...the things my mother used to do to get me to stop. Punishments, harsh words, tying on mittens at night (I know that some of you are thinking that the mitten thing was during my teen years). She even used to paint nasty tasting 'stuff' onto my nails. I got used to the taste. People around me should be happy that I've made progress over the years. At least I'm no longer biting my toenails...

What song would you like to be playing while you are kicking the crap out of someone?

If I were to venture into crap-kicking I think that I would like a little Great Big Sea accompaniment. Something lively with a good beat. It seems to me that question is right out of "A Clockwork Orange."

Where da muffin top at?

He, he, he...when we were kids, my cousin's nickname (a different cousin) was the Muffin Man. I think that was on account of the shape of his face and head. In retrospect, after close scrutiny of my once-svelt body, I think that I should have been given that nickname...let's move on...and could you pass me another Danish, please?

How many goats, stacked atop one another like Yertle’s Turtles, would it take to reach the moon?

It seems to me that one would reach the moon faster if giraffes were used. I'm wondering, though, if they will be more prone to the effects of wind and such than goats. *Goes off for another cup of coffee to ponder this*

Describe yourself using obscure Latin words.

I'm always thinking ahead (and some would say worrying too much). Non incautus futuri apparently means "Not Unmindful of the Future".  Yeah, that works. Needless to say, I didn't know that off the top of my head and perused Wikipedia for a while to find a suitable response.

Why does evil exist?

To maintain a fine balancing act with good, of course. Then again if there was no evil what would horror writers have to write about?

What the chiz are you thinking right now?

I'm wondering what the frig does 'chiz' mean? Going to online Urban Dictionary now...

Tag five people who will have amusing answers if they choose to do this. No hard feelings if not, of course. But it’ll be fun! (or a decent time-waster.

1. Cathy Webster

2. Laurita Miller

3. John Wiswell

4. Gigi

5. Harry Sanderford

Pick a funny nickname for number 1.

The Muskoka Mistress of Hilarity Who is So, So, Pretty.

Make up a rhyme about number 2.

There once was a girl from the shore who wrote day and night until the words she could think of no more...

Where would number 3 hide in the event of the apocalypse?

I daresay John would seek shelter in his bathroom. Perhaps passing the time by sitting. And working on another monologue or maybe a satire.

Where does number 4 purchase her pants?

Ya know what...if I was to answer such a question about Gigi with any degree of accuracy I'd be branded some sort of a creepy stalker guy. In a fez (does it get any creepier than THAT!)

What would number 5′s favorite dance move be?

I'm picturing him busting a move, doing some sort of a cowboy boot, Yee-haw'n line dance. Oh, yeah, it would involve a surf board some how. I can't imagine why.


Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

I was suckered in by the photo of the hockey babies, figuring you had adopted them or they're your new grandchildren or something. Then, THIS! And all I do is laugh (yup, there goes my arse!).
Consider the gauntlet taken up, Mr. Tiaraman!

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

Btw, you DO know where Gigi buys her pants, don't you?

Entre Nous said...

I SRSLY needed this this evening, GREAT! I would like to time-travel to the rear and kick someone's butt if you figure it out.... ! BTW, we are in the midst of the heat wave that traveled EAST. I'm staying at a "friend-with-pool-house, sneaking around hijacking computers left on to catch up n blog reading, and waiting for the curious black bear to remove his handsome self from the huge back yard, so that I can go take a dip in the dark. it's still 98 at 130 am and extremely humid. Hope you escape the WAVE :}

Karen from Mentor said...

ugh. same thing here. Sleep is impossible with sweat pooling onto your closed eyelids. If I had an outdoor space I'd sleep outside. At least I'd be able to look at the stars while dehydrating.....

BUT upside to visit you here and find out that you have friends who still smoke dope.
[only reasonable explanation for asking you if you were a rutabaga]

Rant-O-Saurus Rex said...

Love the pic ... silly leaf fans, they just don't know when to give up do they... and the answers were quite funny. Fun read for sure.

John Wiswell said...

I hear lion meat is gamey and awful. Don't blame you for never eating it. Carnivores just aren't meant for us.

Thanks for tagging me, Alan. I'll try to get this in on Saturday.

Gigi said...

I'm honored you picked me. Thank you.

And very smooth answer in regards to where I do my shopping.

Katey said...

I KNEW you would own this meme, Alan, and you did not disappoint! Ha! For one, that picture rocks. Those kids, starting it young... O, Canada.

Great Big Sea for crap kicking. Dude. I like this idea.

John Wiswell said...

I've answered you here, sir:

Alan W. Davidson said...

Cathy- Hmm...grandchildren? Let's not go there for 10 or 12 years...

Glad that you are grasping the gauntlet.

Joni- Glad you enjoyed that. BTW, friends with pool houses are worth their weight in gold. I think that we in the NE corner of the continent are the only ones immune to the heat wave.

Karen- Sorry to hear about your sweaty eyelids. May I suggest setting up a tent in a friend's yard (preferably the back yard). Yeah, the rutabaga thing was odd but I only present the root vegetables...I don't decide which to put in the meme (though I think substitution is perfectly accepatble). Did you say dope?

Rexy- Thanks. The Leaf fans have been preconditioned from infancy to accept pain and defeat since the '60's.

John- Very true about gamey carnivors. Thanks for jumping in there with some unique meme answers, sir!

Gigi- We Canadians excel in diplomacy (and sneaky avoidance).

Katey- Thanks, Katey. It's always a challenge for me to be strange (yeah, right). The babies? We start our youth violent but they grow up to be overly polite Canucks. I'm sure the guys in GBS would be pleased their music was being used to accompany a good ass-kicking, dude.

kathryn said...

Oh, too funny. I would respectfully request a photo of you in the 6th grade, please. I'm gonna need proof. (And I also wanna see if there's a menacing gleam in your eye.)

You may forward that photo to me at your earliest convenience. I promise not to publish it publicly....


Alan W. Davidson said...

Kathryn- Liar...