I've Been Memed!

I know...I promised to post my answers to this meme on the weekend but somehow life throws curve balls at you (or perhaps sour grapes, or even Yorkshire puddings once in a while). We had a bit of a family situation come up that is now mostly resolved and we can move on. Don't worry...nobody died and I'm reasonably sure there was no blood-letting. Also, believe me when I say that no moose were harmed during the commission of this family drama...

Anyway, who's dad didn't say "When somebody hits you, hit 'em right back" at some point of time. In my case, I was memed by my good friend Katey Taylor at her blog KV Taylor--Spec Fic and Nonsense.  Umm...I guess I can't meme her back because the game doesn't work that way. I imagine that I'll have to "pay it forward" (see my victims selections later on). Check out Katey's blog...if she's not there, perhaps you can find her lurking at The Red Penny Papers (an electronic journal of sensationalist and fantastical fiction).


Onwards...


Are you a rutabaga?


Not exactly, but I DID once have an old girlfriend call me a cabbage. Is that close enough?


When was the last time you ate lion meat?

You know what? I've never eaten lion meat (I know, I've had a sheltered life). Does a nice goat curry work as a substitute for Simba? How about shark steak...


Upload a heartwarming picture of something that makes you smile.

Baby pics can be very heartwarming. Lord knows, I've thrown enough pics up here recently to be an authority. There are probably underlying stories going on here. A commentary on violence with today's youth? Perceptions of French-English relations in Canada? Stuff like that. Or perhaps its simply a little Habs fan giving a little Leafs fan a left cross. Or maybe its just a clever segue to the next question...

If you could go back in time and kick the crap out of someone, who would it be?

Hmmm....most of the boys (and some of the girls) in the 6th grade for starters. Perhaps I was teased mercilessly because my mother dressed me funny--it WAS the 70's after all--or maybe it was because I was just a little a**hole...luckily for those folks, I have taken a path of non-violence. As my cousin, wise sage and long-distance truck driver, used to say, "I won my last fight by 50 yards."


Name one habit that makes other people plot your demise.

I've heard that my biting my fingernails can be quite annoying. It's a habit that I picked up from my father in my childhood (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it). My God...the things my mother used to do to get me to stop. Punishments, harsh words, tying on mittens at night (I know that some of you are thinking that the mitten thing was during my teen years). She even used to paint nasty tasting 'stuff' onto my nails. I got used to the taste. People around me should be happy that I've made progress over the years. At least I'm no longer biting my toenails...


What song would you like to be playing while you are kicking the crap out of someone?

If I were to venture into crap-kicking I think that I would like a little Great Big Sea accompaniment. Something lively with a good beat. It seems to me that question is right out of "A Clockwork Orange."


Where da muffin top at?

He, he, he...when we were kids, my cousin's nickname (a different cousin) was the Muffin Man. I think that was on account of the shape of his face and head. In retrospect, after close scrutiny of my once-svelt body, I think that I should have been given that nickname...let's move on...and could you pass me another Danish, please?

How many goats, stacked atop one another like Yertle’s Turtles, would it take to reach the moon?

It seems to me that one would reach the moon faster if giraffes were used. I'm wondering, though, if they will be more prone to the effects of wind and such than goats. *Goes off for another cup of coffee to ponder this*

Describe yourself using obscure Latin words.

I'm always thinking ahead (and some would say worrying too much). Non incautus futuri apparently means "Not Unmindful of the Future".  Yeah, that works. Needless to say, I didn't know that off the top of my head and perused Wikipedia for a while to find a suitable response.

Why does evil exist?

To maintain a fine balancing act with good, of course. Then again if there was no evil what would horror writers have to write about?

What the chiz are you thinking right now?

I'm wondering what the frig does 'chiz' mean? Going to online Urban Dictionary now...

Tag five people who will have amusing answers if they choose to do this. No hard feelings if not, of course. But it’ll be fun! (or a decent time-waster.

1. Cathy Webster

2. Laurita Miller

3. John Wiswell

4. Gigi

5. Harry Sanderford


Pick a funny nickname for number 1.

The Muskoka Mistress of Hilarity Who is So, So, Pretty.

Make up a rhyme about number 2.

There once was a girl from the shore who wrote day and night until the words she could think of no more...



Where would number 3 hide in the event of the apocalypse?

I daresay John would seek shelter in his bathroom. Perhaps passing the time by sitting. And working on another monologue or maybe a satire.


Where does number 4 purchase her pants?

Ya know what...if I was to answer such a question about Gigi with any degree of accuracy I'd be branded some sort of a creepy stalker guy. In a fez (does it get any creepier than THAT!)


What would number 5′s favorite dance move be?

I'm picturing him busting a move, doing some sort of a cowboy boot, Yee-haw'n line dance. Oh, yeah, it would involve a surf board some how. I can't imagine why.