Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Funny

In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.

The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention-- so he is set free .The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is also set free.

They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem..."




I figured it must be pick on engineers week somewhere in the world.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I'm Just Joking Around...

I'm not a big fan of perpetuating jokes via the email. I'll get them on occasion, but they will go no farther. I received a joke sheet from a former co-worker back at corporate HQ that displayed a lot of merit. There was a nice mix poking fun at 'maleness', sex, death and just a touch of political incorrectness.

I've edited out half the jokes so only the ones that really appealed to me appear below. Now that's a scary peek into my psyche. If you've read them before...apologies and quickly move on to the next blog in your surfing. For those interested, I've included a video at the bottom pertinent to #12...


1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


2. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

3. Was learning cursive really necessary?

4. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

5. Bad decisions make good stories.

6. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

7. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

8. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

9. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

10. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

11. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

12. An athletic ‘cup’, or testicular guard, was used in Hockey in 1874. The first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.